doubleshiny

Earlier this year, about New Year sort of time, I resolved to keep certain promises, and to improve my life. I based these on Maslow's Hierarchy of Need and I kind of forgot about them, but being the GQMF I am, I have probably STILL aced them, so let's have a look....
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I forgot all about the Saturn Awards until this morning, and I wasn't in the mood to make myself apoplectic with rage, so I waited until now to tell you all what the outcome SHOULD have been. I hope you appreciate this new 'temperate' DS. I have taken the liberty of holding my own awards - the name had to be a planet, and I had various problems with this, as all the good planets already have things associated with them, eg Mars, Pluto and the like. Uranus is very unpopular, given that it sounds rude. I think you readers are strong enough to deal with this without giggling

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Originally published in Swine Magazine

If like me you find the conversation can dry up after 12 solid drinking hours, read on and furnish your pickled brain with some proper knowledge on our malty best friends.
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...but only if you do them in a faux ironic way, like I have done with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Otherwise you're still a lamo.

So, if you don't know what Maslow's hierarchy of need is, here's a handy diagram.



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Hey Kirsty! sorry about the previous email, and the attachments, you're right next to Kristen Bell in my contacts list and she likes that kind of thing. Personally I think it's a bit degrading, and cruel to the fish.

I think I'm a lucky guy to find someone like you on the internet. Apparently there are some real weirdos out there who like reading sexually charged stories about my character and Mohinder Suresh. Thanks for going undercover as one of them to report back on their plans, it's nice that you're looking out for me!

I told my mom about you yesterday, she's very excited you're a Catholic, and she had been pretty worried about me, what with all the musical theatre, and the clothes and stuff like that. Every time she sees me now she's like "Get married you big homo, I want grandchildren or you're dead to me!". Once I've stopped crying it's actually pretty funny.

I can't wait for you to show me Runcorn. Is it true I need to bring a face mask? I don't know what kind of water tablets I should get, are you sure that's a safe level of sodium? I'll bring lots of different kinds just in case.

You asked about my hobbies, I see that you got really excited when I said I liked eating out. I also like walking my dog and thinking about Barack Obama and musicals, just like any regular guy I guess! What's your favorite musical? I bet it's Rent!

You know almost all American women are vapid and image obsessed. I can see from your photo that you're not like that. And I like the fact that you seem to wear stupid tshirts and baggy ill fitting jeans with stains on them. I bet you do that in solidarity with the homeless. You're so awesome.

I was thinking, when I come over, could I maybe stay with you? I've heard you talk about Hawk's Nest and it sounds really cool, like an underground lair for a super villain or something. How likely is it that your mom will walk in a lot? Also, I've heard of this show Supernatural and you can call me Dean sometimes if you want but I'm still a little uncomfortable about calling you Sammy.

Anyhow, Sendhil is here and we're going to do those photos you asked for. Are you sure this was what the charity wanted? I have never heard of the Indo-American Gay Support Network but I'm sure it's a good cause. I didn't know what some of the props on that list were and the website was blocked on NBC's servers, but I improvised. Hope that's okay.

Love you!

Your Zachy x

Home Secretary announces that extremists are to be barred from the UK

This seems OK on the surface, but as I sat wearing my Heroes tshirt, drinking from my Heroes mug (which rested on my Sylar coaster as my Sylar action figure looked on in disgust) whilst watching Heroes and thinking about my new Heroes podcast at www.endofshow.com I realised that maybe I would count as some sort of Heroes extremist? I worry about these things, but clearly not as much as I should.
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I have somehow convinced my friend Kev that it's imperitive he have a Hallowe'en party. This was easy because I did it DS style -

Me - Kev, you should have a Hallowe'en party.

Kev - Erm...

Me - Yay! Hallowe'en party!

So Kev is having a Hallowe'en party. Today he asked me how you have a party so I thought I would share the wisdom.
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